Friday, 31 August 2012

#444

The floorboards, ceilings, walls, and doors had spent all day preparing themselves to be judged by an independent panel.

Thursday, 30 August 2012

#443

Passionate about her campaign, the painter tried to canvas support. However, after she was framed for a crime, most people brushed her off easelly.

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

#442

Songs about loneliness constitute the genre known as sole music.

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

#441

What did the man say when the bus ran over him?

"I'm crushed."

Monday, 27 August 2012

#440

Silvi couldn't stop watching films starring women with superpowers. She had to face it: she had a heroine addiction.

Sunday, 26 August 2012

#439

For Catherine, arithmetic was dull; there was nothing that could make her feel number.

Saturday, 25 August 2012

#438

Sophie the sock had had enough of enduring the oppression of the washing machine. It was time to break the cycle.

Friday, 24 August 2012

#437

What is the most popular song of empowerment among endangered seals?

Flo Rida feat David Guetta - Club Can't Handle Me

Thursday, 23 August 2012

#436

Allow me to make you an ice cream. After all, I owe you a flavour.

Wednesday, 22 August 2012

#435

Carrie was a great matchmaker. She could always help people to ignite a flame.

Tuesday, 21 August 2012

#434

I have news of a recent advancement in wizarding technology. The latest wands are fitted with a spell checker.

Monday, 20 August 2012

Sunday, 19 August 2012

#432

I would teach you how to shoot without aiming down the sight, but I'm afraid that that would be outside the scope of this course.

Saturday, 18 August 2012

#431

If you hear someone use the description "cheap as chips", it is wise to clarify whether they are referring to potato or silicon.

Friday, 17 August 2012

#430

Many farm animals are devoutly religious. Most of them are Cattle-ics.

Thursday, 16 August 2012

#429

How does a porpoise give its official approval?

With its endorsal fins.

Wednesday, 15 August 2012

#428

Why are porpoises always smiling?

They always have endor-fins.

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

#427

A: My exercise regime has worked well. I'm such a tank!

B: A tank? More like a Panzy.

Monday, 13 August 2012

#426

How does Mario access the Internet?

Using a web Bowser.

Sunday, 12 August 2012

#425

Rodney the ambitious businessman was not satisfied with making a living. He intended to make a killing.

Saturday, 11 August 2012

Friday, 10 August 2012

Thursday, 9 August 2012

Wednesday, 8 August 2012

#421

A: Stop trying to drink away your problems. No alcohol will help you to put that shelf together.

B: What if I have a Screwdriver?

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

Monday, 6 August 2012

#419

Why must the Queen be at every procession? She always has to reign on our parade.

Sunday, 5 August 2012

#418

Teacher: Use the word urinal in a sentence.

Student: If you can't make it to the bathroom in time, ur-in-a-lot of trouble.

Saturday, 4 August 2012

#417

A: Did you notice any Norse gods around here?

B: No, nothing out of the Odinary.

Friday, 3 August 2012

#416

What do you call an unusual imperfection in food?

An om-nom-anomaly.

Thursday, 2 August 2012

#415

A: The amputee told on me? What a goody-one-shoe!

B: Careful, if he hears you, he'll really put his foot down. Not that he can lift it.

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

#414

Abandoned by her former fellow humans as she jerkily staggered along, Lila the zombie felt that she had been left in the lurch.