Tuesday 30 April 2013

#686

The Jewish community in Japan has established a Whaling Wall.

Monday 29 April 2013

#685

A: These small nails are really ugly.

B: Are you saying that they look tacky?

Sunday 28 April 2013

#684

What word appears at the end of any film about sharks?

Fin.

Saturday 27 April 2013

#683

What did the madam say when her girls returned to work after a holiday?

"Long time, no D."

Friday 26 April 2013

#682

What do you call someone who sells narcotics from a bicycle?

A drug peddler.

Thursday 25 April 2013

#681

Composers who use too many triplets tend to be arrested and kept inside a compound.

Wednesday 24 April 2013

Tuesday 23 April 2013

#679

A: My ballroom dancing teacher says that I'm an absolute failure.

B: Don't worry, A. There are plenty of other dances you can try. An abun-dance, if you will.

[Pause. A crunching sound.]

B: For example, you excel at high kicks.

Monday 22 April 2013

Sunday 21 April 2013

#677

The dictator was tired of improper male geese. It was time for some propaganda.

Saturday 20 April 2013

#676

Marina was disappointed by the lack of interest in her warm baked goods business - she had expected them to sell like hot cakes.

Friday 19 April 2013

#675

Given his name, the music of Carcassi is surprisingly lively.

Thursday 18 April 2013

Wednesday 17 April 2013

#673

Having just arrived at the Manhattan statistics conference, Tessa was in an empirical state of mind.

Tuesday 16 April 2013

#672

Robin's parents intervened as soon as he started modifying their front fence - they knew that it could be a gateway to more serious construction projects.

Monday 15 April 2013

#671

I want to write books about a nineteenth century German philosopher, but I'm afraid that it would only appeal to a Nietzsche market.

Sunday 14 April 2013

#670

A: You only sell tickets at a fixed price? What about discounts for children, students, or seniors?

B: I'm afraid that we make no such concessions.

Saturday 13 April 2013

#669

"They're running out of plastic tubes intended for transferring a beverage from its container to the mouth of the drinker by use of suction? This is the last straw!"

Friday 12 April 2013

Thursday 11 April 2013

#667

"It's elementary, my dear Watson. At seven o'clock that morning, he was searching for his missing deodorant. At eight o'clock, he was found dead on his bathroom floor. Well, that very same bottle of deodorant is on this table. There is no mystery to this murder, Watson. Right before our eyes, we have the missing Lynx."

Wednesday 10 April 2013

#666

In what shape is hay served to Cattle-ics?

In a Christian Bale.

Tuesday 9 April 2013

#665

What did Lady Macbeth say while doing her laundry?

"Out, damned spot! out, I say!"

Monday 8 April 2013

#664

Noah had included a private cabin so that he would have a space to himself when the animals arked up too much.

Sunday 7 April 2013

#663

After quitting her job as a human rotating clothes rack, a position she had held for the past twenty years, Erin was dismayed to find that her old colleagues were calling her a turncoat.

Saturday 6 April 2013

Friday 5 April 2013

#661

Many asthma sufferers find the traditions of the Vatican to be incense-itive.

Thursday 4 April 2013

#660

What do company executives play to relax after meetings?

Board games.

Wednesday 3 April 2013

#659

Odette had everything she needed to take the revolution to the capital - the numbers, the spirit, the timing. The only obstacle that stood in her way was the marshland, which had risen above the road after the deluge. She was a rebel without a causeway.

Tuesday 2 April 2013

#658

A: Why do you always give me a clock for my birthday?

B: Because there's no time like the present.

Monday 1 April 2013

#657

Which novel by Leo Tolstoy told the tragic tale of a ceramic vessel flute's affair with a Count?

Ana Ocarin-ina.