Monday, 30 June 2014


The mollusc pickers frequently worked in clammy weather.

Sunday, 29 June 2014


The Siberian phone network provider's office gave Olga a characteristically frosty reception.

Saturday, 28 June 2014


As the extraterrestrials floated away in their now tattered and heavily shelled pod, a voice could be heard:

"We come in peace, Zorblav! Not like peas! In peace!"

Friday, 27 June 2014


What kind of racism is directed towards Asians who have achieved inner peace?


Thursday, 26 June 2014


Hana was happy to stay in the supposedly haunted castle; to her, ghosts were immaterial.

Wednesday, 25 June 2014


A: Looking at his diary, police found that he had been thinking about setting himself on fire for months.

B: Well, better self-immolate than never.

Tuesday, 24 June 2014


He was ultimately rejected due to his incapacity to dress formally; in summary, the company thought him unsuitable.

Monday, 23 June 2014


The amateur filmmaker was kicked out of the bungee jumping club after one too many fatal jump cuts.

Sunday, 22 June 2014


What do you call ham that is cooking in an oven?


Saturday, 21 June 2014


Sergeant Chisholm surveyed the carnage on the street. Clearly, the offender had misunderstood the meaning of "blood drive".

Thursday, 19 June 2014


Publishing expletives, even with letters replaced with symbols, is always an aste-risk.

Wednesday, 18 June 2014


Once the animated gray tabby cat ventured into political subject matter, it became known for Pusheen the boundaries.

Tuesday, 17 June 2014


The Chinese conservationists were accused of excessively pandaring to animals.

Monday, 16 June 2014


The blocks made of four squares each spelled a tetrominous message.

Sunday, 15 June 2014


After the second oil spill, Mobil Corp could not be exxonerated.

Saturday, 14 June 2014


Guy squinted out at the paddock and frowned. The livestock thieves were really beginning to get his goat.

Friday, 13 June 2014


Although they constitute modern repertoire, Phillip's works typically require Glassical training.

Thursday, 12 June 2014

Wednesday, 11 June 2014

Tuesday, 10 June 2014


A: Have you ever thought about being a parent?

B: Yes, I want to have a daughter.

A: That's specific.

B: And call her Hope.

A: That's beautiful!

B: And make her immortal.

A: What?

B: And get her a pogo stick.

A: No no no no don't say-

B: Hope springs eternal!

Monday, 9 June 2014


Which ice cream flavour is most common among silverfish?


Sunday, 8 June 2014


The logician maintained an ergo-nomic working environment.

Saturday, 7 June 2014


Once the first batch of towers to support electric cables fit easily onto the ship, the captain decided to pylon more.

Friday, 6 June 2014


What kind of swimming can be done while asleep?


Thursday, 5 June 2014


"Are you sure you can sing today, Elsa? You sound really congested."

"I'll be fine. Having a cold never bothered me anyway."

Wednesday, 4 June 2014


Liam originally didn't want to be photographed nude, but he soon figured that he could use the exposure.

Tuesday, 3 June 2014


The whole world is one great poem; that's why it's called the universe.

Monday, 2 June 2014


Even when crowds turned against him, Tiger Woods always knew that his mistresses were rooting for him.

Sunday, 1 June 2014


"He's not a real digital infiltrator; he's just a hack."