Sunday, 30 November 2014


A: I have the milk permeate in a portable container.

B: Whey to go!

Saturday, 29 November 2014


Fergus tried to think of a gentle way to tell his girlfriend that her oral sex was too rough, but could find no way to soften the blow.

Friday, 28 November 2014


A: Have you looked at the geese yet?

B: Yes, I had a gander.

Thursday, 27 November 2014


Alex hated the Vietnamese capital - he found it very Hanoi-ing.

Wednesday, 26 November 2014


In what kind of coffin was the Russian emperor buried?

A tsarcophagus.

Tuesday, 25 November 2014


What do you call the sound made by ancient Egyptian paper in the wind?


Monday, 24 November 2014

Sunday, 23 November 2014


The rebellious crop farmer was known for going against the grain.

Saturday, 22 November 2014


A: I've become an expert on Asian politics. Ask me anything.

B: Do you know who was the President of Indonesia from 2004 to 2014?

A: Yudhoyono.

B: No, I do know, I'm asking whether you do.

Friday, 21 November 2014


A: I wish I could style my hair like that.

B: Don't be gel-ous.

Thursday, 20 November 2014


"Yes, I know I forgot the gold coating! I don't need your gilt trip."

Wednesday, 19 November 2014


"Back off or I'll knock your block off!"

The mobster's babysitter smiled wearily.

"That's not how we share our Lego, is it, Danny?"

Tuesday, 18 November 2014


The sailor's desire to wed his clock was forbidden under marry-time law.

Monday, 17 November 2014


The two metalworkers, denied permission to marry from their families, had decided to steel away into the night.

Sunday, 16 November 2014


Verity wondered whether she had become more distant from her family after switching to bath sponges; perhaps returning to natural exfoliation would make her less aloofah.

Saturday, 15 November 2014


In which European capital is a river blocked with rodents?


Friday, 14 November 2014


What song did Bon Jovi write after a holiday in Walnut Grove?

Livin' On A Prairie

Thursday, 13 November 2014

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Tuesday, 11 November 2014


The cobblers had worked together in the same shop for years - they saw each other as sole mates.

Monday, 10 November 2014


Helen easily found a job restoring cars - she had an eye for detail.

Sunday, 9 November 2014


The general looked at the diagram of the territory, filled with every kind of wagon, and sighed. Clearly, her staff had not understood the meaning of cartographer.

Saturday, 8 November 2014


The tanning instructor was known as a hard bask-master.

Friday, 7 November 2014


"All who wish to follow me must abandon their hives of honey! Such is the sacrifice required to become a bee-leaver."

Thursday, 6 November 2014


What do you call the followers of a spiritual leader who are responsible for insulting other religions?


Wednesday, 5 November 2014


What do you call someone who's crying because they're not transgendered?

A cissy.

Tuesday, 4 November 2014


Where does the government of the Philippines store its documents?

In Manila folders.

Monday, 3 November 2014


A: Are you serious about the baby goats?

B: No, I'm just kidding.

Sunday, 2 November 2014


The filmmaker avoided Vine; she felt that it was easy pickings.

Saturday, 1 November 2014


What did the police officer say when subduing an offender?

"Cop that!"