Monday, 30 November 2015

Sunday, 29 November 2015

#1629

What sound do pirates' stomachs make when they want liquor?

Rum-bling.

Saturday, 28 November 2015

#1628

Where in an airport can you check how old a suitcase is?

The bag-age area.

Friday, 27 November 2015

#1627

What holiday do American military vehicle manufacturers celebrate in November?

Tanks-giving.

Thursday, 26 November 2015

#1626

What did the poetry prostitute say to the potential client?

"Looking for a good rhyme?"

Wednesday, 25 November 2015

#1625

What should you say to an incompetent dog breeder?

"Step pup your game."

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

#1624

What happened to the priest who had his beard trimmed in the church tower?

He was shaved by the bell.

Monday, 23 November 2015

#1623

A: Can you carry my bag?

B: I can't believe you would satchel me with this burden.

Sunday, 22 November 2015

#1622

What did the king say about the reliable nobleman who was lower than a duke but higher than a baron?

"You can Count on him."

Saturday, 21 November 2015

#1621

What do you call the wife of a Duke in the Netherlands?

A Dutchess.

Friday, 20 November 2015

#1620

After looking over her footnotes, Emeline realised that the quote she had searched for was hiding in plain citation.

Thursday, 19 November 2015

#1619

Where is the worst place in Germany to wake up after a night of heavy drinking?

Hanover.

Wednesday, 18 November 2015

#1618

What television series tells the story of a woman who memorises homicide case files?

Murder, She Rote.

Tuesday, 17 November 2015

#1617

Why couldn't Hayley do squats?

She was glute intolerant.

Monday, 16 November 2015

#1616

Which Tennyson poem recounts an attack conducted by a troop of bantamweights?

The charge of the light brigade.

Sunday, 15 November 2015

#1615

The operator of the public humiliation device was known for being a pillory of the community.

Saturday, 14 November 2015

#1614

The innovative stoner, the first to smoke a mixture of dried fruit and nuts, was widely regarded as a trail blazer.

Friday, 13 November 2015

Thursday, 12 November 2015

#1612

Officer Brace tossed and turn in a fitful rest, plagued by recurring visions of her indecent exposure arrest. She woke up, sweating. She was going to have to find a way to stop these flashbacks.

Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Tuesday, 10 November 2015

#1610

What do you call a dream-like blurring of reality and imagination caused by a soft drink?

A Fanta-smagoric experience.

Monday, 9 November 2015

#1609

What do you call false prices in a tavern?

Inn accurate.

Sunday, 8 November 2015

#1608

What feature most commonly makes a woodchopper pretty?

Lumberous eyes.

Saturday, 7 November 2015

#1607

What do you call the leader of a military sniffer dog squad?

A scent-urion.

Friday, 6 November 2015

#1606

What do you call a padded bag used for defensive rugby training?

A recep-tackle.

Thursday, 5 November 2015

#1605

After commencing the nutrition program for chest muscles, Andy had great eggs-pec-tations.

Wednesday, 4 November 2015

#1604

What do you call it when a person must choose one of two cliffs off which to jump?

A di-lemming.

Tuesday, 3 November 2015

Monday, 2 November 2015

#1602

After it proved impossible to move directly above the air ducts, Richie decided to circumvent them.

Sunday, 1 November 2015

#1601

What did the priest say when asked if he could abandon his congregation?

"Parish the thought!"