Friday 30 September 2016

#1935

What animals, when placed in circles, can help humans to navigate?

Bear-rings.

Thursday 29 September 2016

#1934

Nathan was a little hurt by the criticism of his helmet strap design, but he took it on the chin.

Wednesday 28 September 2016

#1933

What do you a feeling of shock experienced when one's cookware has been stolen?

Pan-nick.

Tuesday 27 September 2016

#1932

What do you call a mannequin of a fully grown dog?

A dogget.

Monday 26 September 2016

#1931

What do you call a regrettable piece of gossip?

A rue-mour.

Sunday 25 September 2016

#1930

What kind of fuel is best for creating flames that dance in the cold, cold night?

Cha-cha-coal.

Saturday 24 September 2016

#1929

The salt grains screamed in agony as they were ground into tiny pieces; it was a cruel twist of fate.

Friday 23 September 2016

#1928

Where do wine makers celebrate victories?

In their win-yards.

#1927

A: Why was there no post yesterday?

B: The writer was involved in a heist at a car parts dealer.

A: What do you-?

B: He was instructed to take a brake.

Wednesday 21 September 2016

#1926

What do you call two heads of schools who are friends with each other?

Princi-pals.

Tuesday 20 September 2016

#1925

A leaky pen had ruined the calligrapher's lifetime of work; she didn't like to talk about the inkcident.

Monday 19 September 2016

#1924

What do botany students use for writing tasks?

Loose leaf.

Sunday 18 September 2016

#1923

What do you call a horrible disaster in which a hunter removes a feline's backside?

A cat-ass-trophy.

Saturday 17 September 2016

#1922

Why did the pig want to leave its enclosure?

It felt sty-fled.

Friday 16 September 2016

#1921

What kind of chocolates can be used to taunt people at shopping centres?

Mall-teasers.

Thursday 15 September 2016

#1920

What did Vivaldi call the secret combination of herbs and spices that constituted his original recipe chicken meal?

Four Seasonings.

Wednesday 14 September 2016

#1919

What swamp-dwelling plants can be used to clean toilets?

Bog brush.

Tuesday 13 September 2016

#1918

Which film director is referred to by all teachers of film studies when marking assessments?

Stanley Rubric.

Monday 12 September 2016

#1917

What kind of ghosts haunt their celebrity crushes?

Fan-toms.

Sunday 11 September 2016

#1916

Where is the best place to cremate plants?

In a fern-ace.

Saturday 10 September 2016

Friday 9 September 2016

#1914

"President Trump, in hindsight, do you have any regrets about building your wall on the Mexican border?"

"No regrets. Not even Juan."

Thursday 8 September 2016

#1913

Which Soviet politician was famous for training horses in snow sports?

Trot-ski.

Wednesday 7 September 2016

#1912

"Your Majesty, how do you feel about the theft of your royal seat?"

"I'm not sure how I feel. I guess I'm just a bit throne."

Tuesday 6 September 2016

Monday 5 September 2016

#1910

What do you call it when farm animals send their meals back to the kitchen?

Giving feedback.

#1909

A: Why was there no post yesterday?

B: The writer realised that he had two family commitments at once.

A: It was Father's Day?

B: And it was also a Son-Day.

Saturday 3 September 2016

#1908

What popular 1960s dance song is about gymnastics injuries?

Twist and Shout

Friday 2 September 2016

#1907

After 40 years as a butcher, Beth had grown accustomed to the daily rind.

Thursday 1 September 2016

#1906

What film tells the story of a savant who memorises his city's sewage system?

Drain Man