Monday, 31 October 2016

#1966

What do you call a practical joke involving a baby stroller?

A pramk.

Sunday, 30 October 2016

#1965

Why don't dogs vote?

They're not interested in paw-litics.

#1964

A: Why was there no post yesterday?

B: The writer was being initiated into a group of men who live together and play guitar.

A: What are you-

B: He joined a freternity.

Friday, 28 October 2016

#1963

Why does Gwen Stefani refuse to reciprocate subscriptions on social media?

She ain't no follow-back girl.

Thursday, 27 October 2016

#1962

What chicken dish is permitted by law to be used as currency?

Legal tenders.

Wednesday, 26 October 2016

#1961

What do you call people who used to know a lot about how to be lively?

Ex-perts.

Tuesday, 25 October 2016

#1960

What do you call a device concealed among the gears of a machine?

In-cog-nito.

Monday, 24 October 2016

#1959

What do you call a set meal offered by a roving vendor?

À la cart.

Sunday, 23 October 2016

#1958

During what phase of the lunar cycle do apes attempt to remove their hair?

The waxing gibbons.

Saturday, 22 October 2016

#1957

The chefs wanted to be known for making the best broths - all their lives, they battled for soup-remacy.

Friday, 21 October 2016

#1956

What kind of water sport is most suitable for mourning a death?

Wake-boarding.

Thursday, 20 October 2016

#1955

What do you call it when it takes a long time to acquire relishes and liquid condiments at a barbecue?

A sauce-age.

Wednesday, 19 October 2016

#1954

What's the hardest thing for a shy turtle to do?

Coming out of its shell.

Tuesday, 18 October 2016

Monday, 17 October 2016

#1952

At the sight of the sweets, the dog couldn't stop its tongue from lollying out of its mouth.

Sunday, 16 October 2016

#1951

After only receiving a loose shirt for all her hard work, Heather felt that she'd been given a blousy deal.

Saturday, 15 October 2016

#1950

After venturing onto the rough water, Melanie was stunned by the rapidity of the current.

Friday, 14 October 2016

#1949

What is the shortest amount of time that a person can spend inside a tavern?

An inn-stant.

Thursday, 13 October 2016

#1948

What do you call a model who is tired of turning around for cameras?

Twirled-weary.

Wednesday, 12 October 2016

#1947

Zeus had never intended the devastating forest fires; he thought that he was just lightning the mood.

Tuesday, 11 October 2016

#1946

What did the cyclist say when his road bike struggled to support him on a bumpy mountain track?

"The suspension is killing me."

Monday, 10 October 2016

#1945

In which battle did the Allies and the Axis compete to find the most obese solider?

The Battle of the Bulge.

Sunday, 9 October 2016

#1944

The Allied arrival in Italy made the German troops very Anzio-us.

Saturday, 8 October 2016

#1943

Why was Montgomery's Eighth Army sent to Tripoli?

He couldn't find the other 87.5% of the British troops.

Friday, 7 October 2016

#1942

What kind of German submarine was powered by sheep?

The ewe-boat.

Thursday, 6 October 2016

#1941

Which US seaport known for its knitters was the first to be attacked by Japan?

Purl Harbour.

Wednesday, 5 October 2016

#1940

As the Germans arrived, the young Parisian who had prided himself on remaining unemployed faced his greatest fear: occupation.

Tuesday, 4 October 2016

#1939

What agreement was designed to bind Germany and Italy to assist each other in artwork theft throughout the war?

The Pact of Steal.

#1938

A: Why was there no post yesterday?

B: The writer had to play cricket and faced every ball.

A: So?

B: He was on strike all day.

Sunday, 2 October 2016

#1937

What do you call an early prototype of a beer recipe?

A first draught.

Saturday, 1 October 2016

#1936

What do you call a graph of the most impressive seizures observed in an epilepsy ward?

A line of best fit.