Sunday, 26 March 2017

#2113

Zoey the watchmaker knew that her children loved her, quartz and all.

#2112

A: Why was there no post yesterday?

B: The writer was busy following the Jewish tradition of catching criminals on the Sabbath.

A: That's not a real-

B: The seventh day is a day of arrest.

Friday, 24 March 2017

#2111

What kind of cat is the most useful on a sheep farm?

A Che-shear cat.

Thursday, 23 March 2017

#2110

What do you call the colour effect achieved by dropping a photograph in the ocean?

Sea-pia.

Wednesday, 22 March 2017

#2109

What do you call a quickly performed piece of hip hop?

Rap-id.

Tuesday, 21 March 2017

#2108

What do you call someone who has only ever seen slugs being surprised by a snail?

Shell shocked.

#2106

A: Why wasn't there a post today?

B: The writer of the blog was off hunting?

A: It's not the season for-

B: It's a no-pun season!

Sunday, 19 March 2017

#2105

What do you call patients who know that they will recover?

Se-cure.

Saturday, 18 March 2017

#2104

What do you call corruption at the Olympics?

Medalling.

Friday, 17 March 2017

#2103

What do you call the act of riding a bicycle in order to put other people off their exercise?

Psych-ling.

Thursday, 16 March 2017

#2102

What do you call the process of angrily searching for food?

Fo-rage-ing.

Wednesday, 15 March 2017

#2101

What do you call poorly clothed bakery apprentices?

Ragamuffins.

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

#2100

What was the first sport designed for online play?

Netball.

Monday, 13 March 2017

#2099

What muscle do weightlifters develop when they truly believe?

The try-cep.

Sunday, 12 March 2017

#2098

After being shamed for his embarrassing stubble, Luke would do anything to shave face.

Saturday, 11 March 2017

#2097

The circus lion was exhausted of his daily routine - every day, he had to jump through hoops to achieve anything.

Friday, 10 March 2017

#2096

What kind of Mexican food can keep you warm in the winter?

Fa-heaters.

Thursday, 9 March 2017

#2095

What do you call the practice of making unsolicited visits to young male horses in order to sell them things?

Colt calling.

Wednesday, 8 March 2017

#2094

A: Why are all these pictures of snakes blanked out on this computer?

B: I installed an adder blocker.

Tuesday, 7 March 2017

#2093

What do you call the process of rounding up fish using enclosures made of marine polyps?

Coraling.

Monday, 6 March 2017

#2092

Sudi could never look at her children, born on the same day, without a twinge of regret.

Sunday, 5 March 2017

#2091

What do you call an animated show about fish?

A carp-toon.

Saturday, 4 March 2017

#2090

What do you call two gynecologists working together?

Col-labia-ration.

Friday, 3 March 2017

#2089

A: Was your trip to the convent fun?

B: Yes, I had a veil of a time.

Thursday, 2 March 2017

#2088

What do you call a compilation of footage of impressive catches that a fisherman can use to apply for work?

A showreel.

Wednesday, 1 March 2017

#2087

What did the bishop say when he saw the cost of constructing a new cathedral roof?

"That's a bit steeple."